Brennan in Wonderland
by we-are-not-soldiers
Summary: While investigating the murder of a teenager, Brennan falls into a hole and ends up in Wonderland.
1. Prologue

Author note:

Hey guyz. I got super stuck on my second Bones/Psych crossover so while I'm thinking up ideas I made up this. Of course, _Alice in Wonderland _inspired this story (and because I watched the new version in the theater recently...loved it! 5 starz lol) I hope you like my Bones version :D

Dedicated to my friend Emily, who is also a big fan of the movie.

* * *

~Prologue~

Dr. Temperance Brennan.

An anthropologist and author who works at the Jeffersonian Institute in Washington, DC.

And for the for the first time in a long time, she was bored.

The meeting just wasn't getting any better. And that was because her partner, FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, wasn't there. He was the one who wore the colorful socks and the trademark 'Cocky' belt buckle and the sexy ties...

Should I go on?

But there weren't any colorful socks or big, red 'Cocky' belt buckles or sexy ties. It was like every single man wore the same outfit; none of them stood out like Booth would.

She was now slowly losing consciousness of the world around her, knowing that if her partner had been there, he would've pointed out that she was mind-numbingly bored. Which wasn't possible in her case. Being numb meant that there was a constriction of blood, causing nerves to slowly lose their sensation. If this ever happened to the brain (...which it wasn't happening to her's), her heart and all the rest of her organs would stop, and she would die.

But if Booth was here, she knew she wouldn't be bored. He'd probably text her and say stuff like, 'What's up with that guy's hair?' or 'I think that guy forgot to put deodorant on today...and I think you know what I'm talking about.' Those were just examples of things that he had texted to her in the past during a meeting that they were bored at.

Luckily for Booth, he couldn't come to the meeting, since he wasn't an author. He was only a guy that said 'Hey, Bones!' in front of her publisher, and the publisher said, 'Andy could call Kathy that...' Blah, blah, blah. Now her books topped the charts. She requested quite a few months ago that it would be her final book, but everyone who helped out with the book was screaming 'no' at her.

She suddenly snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her ringtone. "Excuse me," she said before stepping out of the room to answer her phone.

"Brennan."

"Bones!"

_Thank God. Well, there _isn't _a God...but that's not the point__._ "Booth! What's the matter?"

"Some remains were discovered on the side of the freeway. Y'know, that forest-lookin' place."

"Booth, I'm fully aware of what the nearby freeway looks like."

"Yeah, I know...I'm just refreshing your memory." She could practically hear him smirking, which was as possible as her being mind-numb in the conference room a few moments before. "I'll pick you up in a few minutes, Bones."

"Okay, thanks, Booth." After she hung up, she almost screamed with joy. She wouldn't have to be at the ridiculous, pointless meeting anymore.

~***~

"White-Caucasian female, late teens to early twenties." Brennan looked up at her partner. "You're usually writing down notes about the victim right now, Booth."

Booth came back to reality. "Yeah...taking out my Handy Dandy Notebook right now."

"What is that a reference of?"

"Blue's Clues."

"Oh. Isn't that a children's show?"

"You're never too old for little kid shows, Bones," said Booth with a grin, writing down all the notes he missed. Brennan smiled slightly before examining the victim again. "It looks like her chest was punctured twice by a sharp object...if there were two weapons, they have the exact same radius."

"Stab wound?" Booth suggested. "From a knife...yeah..."

"No, the wounds have a circular shape," she said, tracing her finger around the outline of one of the wounds.

"Dr. Brennan!" an officer called. Brennan stood up and walked over to the officer, with Booth not far behind. The officer pointed down a large hollow at the base of a tree. "How far down do you think that is?"

Brennan picked up a stone that was on the ground and threw it down into the hollow. They listened for a few moments until Booth said, "If we can't hear it land, that means it's really deep."

"Only one way to find out how deep it really is," said the officer, giving Brennan a mischievous grin. She shot a sideways glance at Booth and she could tell right away that he was annoyed.

"Officer, are you suggesting that we climb down the hole?" asked Brennan.

"Well, there could be evidence down there."

"Bones, you can't go down there!" hissed Booth. "It's _way_ too dangerous!"

"I've gone down deeper holes before!" she insisted as she began to climb down the hole. She clung onto the roots as she looked up. "Booth, I need a flashlight or something."

"Bones, you can't hold onto anything...you'll have to come back up and we'll get a ladder for you."

"Okay." She tried to climb back up, but her foot was caught in something. "My foot is caught in a root!"

"Here, Bones, grab my hand!" Brennan tried to reach his hand, but she lost her footing and tumbled down into the hollow.

* * *

plz review. plzzz!!!!!


	2. In Wonderland

Author's Note (plz read):

Typing this chapter was so freakin' hard it's not even funny. B/C I was so busy and then I got all the PM's asking me, "when r u gonna update yor new story???" and I completely FORGOT about it -.- But here I am, updating my story.

This is probably the worst chapter I have ever written. Plz keep that in mind that I KNOW that this sucks while you're reviewing, so don't be a demented pineapple. I promise the next chapter will be full of great things. thx for reading this.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bones.

* * *

Brennan screamed as she was swallowed by the darkness, her partner's voice echoing through her ears. She closed her eyes as the hollow around her disappeared, and she landed with a thud on a cement floor. She opened her eyes, all of the blood rushing to her head.

_Where am I?_ she wondered, and she looked up. _Why is everything on the ceiling? _And then she realized that she was on the actual ceiling and she was looking up at the floor.

Which made no sense. _At all_.

She suddenly fell down to the floor and sat up, rubbing her aching head. She around her. It was quite an ugly room (I mean, who has a cement ceiling and checkered floor?) that was covered with doors. And each one that Brennan tried was locked, except, of course, for the smallest one.

Brennan, for the first time in a while, was stuck in a tough situation. Her head, let alone her entire body, couldn't fit through that door. Damn. And then she saw the small bottle on the table, labeled, 'Drink me. It will help you shrink.'

"That's ridiculous," muttered Brennan to herself. "Liquids don't help you shrink."

But, she had seen those magic tricks online that Angela had sent her, when the magician drank a 'magical potion' and shrank. It was irrational, but she had once argued with Booth one Christmas that their victim was actually Santa Claus.

Potion or not, she was drinking it.

And in the blink of an eye, she was small.

Tiny.

Microscopic (not really, but you get the point.)

Brennan almost shuddered at how small she was compared to how big she had been a moment ago. She then noticed an object on the ground and walked over to it. It was a heart-shaped key, and on the bottom was engraved,

'Use this wisely, for this is the key,  
That will lead you to your destiny.'

Brennan highly doubted that a key would lead her to her destiny, but she shoved it into her pocket anyway and opened the door.

A burst of fresh air filled her lungs as the door swung open. It was a strange world that she had stepped into. It was a jungle with a large dirt path, filled with all of those creatures that you would only imagine in fairy tales.

And that's exactly she wanted to turn back. But she couldn't, because when she opened the door, there was nothing but even more jungle.

_This is all a dream_, she repeated in her head. _This is all just a crazy and irrational dream..._

She stopped walking when she almost stumbled over an object in the middle of the path. She looked down and realized it was a rabbit. It was a strange rabbit; it was white with red eyes and a handsome suit covered in red hearts.

"Oh! Thank goodness you're here!" it squeaked. "We're _extremely_ late!"

"Now I'm confused on a number of levels," said Brennan. "How can you talk? And what're we late for?"

"No time to explain!" replied the rabbit quickly. "Follow me!" It hopped down the path as fast as possible. And why Brennan followed him, she wasn't exactly sure. But it was a whole lot better than walking by yourself in a huge jungle.

~***~

They had walked quite a long way when Brennan finally asked, "How much longer is this walk?"

"Not much longer now," said the rabbit. "Everyone has been waiting anxiously for you!"

"I don't even know who _you_ are, let alone the people who you are talking about."

"Oh, of course. I am the White Rabbit, but everyone calls me Rabbit. And I know that you are Alice Kingsley!" The rabbit's pace began to quicken.

"Wait, my name is _not_ Alice! My name is Dr. Temperance Brennan, and I am an anthropologist who works at the-"

"Jeffersonian Institute in Washington, DC!" said the rabbit cheerily. "Now, please, we must be going-"

"But I'm not the person who you're looking for!" Brennan snapped, and the rabbit finally stopped.

"Even if you are or aren't Alice Kingsley, you can still help us. The Caterpillar has predicted that if we do not recieve help soon, then our world might disappear."

"Worlds can't just disappear," said Brennan.

"Anthropologically speaking, no, they cannot," replied the rabbit as he continued his hopping. "But there is one woman, the Red Queen, who wishes to gain control of Wonderland from her sister. And she is extremely...evil."

"Wonderland?" Brennan repeated out loud. "That sounds familiar."

The rabbit hid his smile from her. "I knew you were Alice."

"I'm _not_ Alice," Brennan repeated impatiently. And soon enough, they stopped in front of a large mushroom.

"Wait here a moment," said the rabbit. "It may take a while for the Caterpillar to awaken."

"That's not Alice!" a few random voices called out. "Alice is much prettier than her!"

"Don't be rude!" snapped the rabbit before Brennan could lash out. "And even if she isn't Alice, she can still help us."

"How?" asked a voice, and a woman appeared from the bushes. Brennan's eyes widened. "C-Cam?"

"Camille, if you please," she corrected. "Camille Mallymkun. I'm sure you're the next 'non-Alice' we've all been waiting for."

Just as Brennan was about to reply, the blue cloud that was once hovering above the mushroom transformed into an ugly, plump caterpillar.

"You are late," said the caterpillar to the rabbit. "I would've expected you to be on time with that new pocket watch of yours."

"Yes, but there were many questions to be answered!" said the rabbit. "She doesn't believe that she is Alice."

The caterpillar breathed in the smoke from his cigarette and blew it into Brennan's face. She coughed and asked, "Can you please _not _do that?"

"Certainly. My name is Absolem the Caterpillar. I am often consulted about problems, and now you seem to be consulting me because the White Rabbit believes that you are Alice and you believe that you are not Alice."

"Please, Absolem," Cam (or Camille) begged. "I don't want this to be turned into a court."

"Silence, Camille," ordered Absolem. "You used to be supportive when I turned my mushroom into a court. I'm disappointed."

"Can we get on with this, please?" asked the rabbit. "The time is fading away!"

"And so is my patience," Brennan fumed. "I am not who any of you people think I am. My name is Dr. Temperance Brennan, and I am an anthropologist who works in Washington, DC. And if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to be escorted home."

"I'm afraid that's not possible."

"Why not?"

"Because once you're in Wonderland, you can't get back out." Suddenly, there was a roar in the distance. Absolem smirked. "No more time to explain anything else. I'm sure the White Rabbit may help you on your adventures, Ms. Brennan."

"Certainly, sir," said the rabbit as Absolem disappeared.

"Is there a tiger nearby?" asked Brennan as another roar was heard. There was a slightly nervous tone in her voice.

"No, it's the Bandersnatch," corrected Camille. "That's why we need to evacuate the area." And she hurried away.

"Follow me!" squeaked the rabbit after Brennan was about to follow Camille. She reluctantly began to follow him, but the bobbing white tail was already out of sight.

"Rabbit!" she called. "Rabbit!" She stopped when there was a large animal in her way. It was like a large white hyena with black spots and large paws, surrounded by an army of cards in red armor and wielded heart-shaped spears. The Bandersnatch unsheathed its claws and snarled at her.

_This is only a dream,_ she reminded herself in her head as the Bandersnatch reared onto its hind legs. She squeezed her eyes shut as the Bandersnatch swung its paw and slashed its claws against her arm. There was then a sudden gunshot, and the Bandersnatch howled in pain, clutching its eye with its paw. "Come on, Bones!" Brennan looked up at the sound of her partner's voice. He helped her to her feet and grabbed her hand, practically dragging her into a nearby thicket as the army of cards thundered past them.

"Bones, what the hell were you thinking?" asked Booth furiously after the stampede of cards had passed.

"What?"

"You just stood there in front of that tiger thing! Were you_ trying_ to harm yourself?"

"Yes."

"Why?!"

"Because this is only a dream. There are no such thing as talking animals or Bandersnatches or potions that make you shrink...so I thought if I got hurt, I would wake up," stated Brennan innocently.

"Well, for a figment of your imagination, I feel pretty realistic," Booth retorted. There was a rustling sound nearby, and Camille revealed herself.

"Are you both okay?"

"Cam!" said Booth happily, ignoring her question. "How'd you end up here?"

"My name is Camille, not Cam," she corrected. "You both must be mistaking me for someone else."

"Fine, if you're not Cam, what's your last name?"

"Mallymkun."

"Mallymkun? Like the dormouse?"

Camille stared at him. "What?"

Booth shook his head. "Never mind."

The White Rabbit hopped out from the bush. "I'm sorry I disappeared from your sight, Ms. Brennan," he apologized.

"That is so cool!" said Booth. "A rabbit that can talk!" Brennan rolled her eyes.

"Here is what I wanted to show you." The rabbit unrolled a scroll and placed it on the ground. One of the final pictures was of a woman in armor wielding a sword. She was pointing it towards a large dragon. "This picture shows what should happen on Frabjous Day. It is the day that a brave young woman will defeat-"

"A dragon?" Brennan finished for him.

"A Jabberwocky," the rabbit corrected.

Booth snorted. "What is this, Star Wars?"

"No, this is Wonderland," said Brennan.

"Never mind, Bones."

"So, when are you going to depart?" asked Camille after a few moments.

"Depart? What?"

"To the Red Queen's castle."

"Ah, yes, I knew I forgot something!" squeaked the rabbit. "We must go to the Red Queen's castle before you can defeat the Jabberwocky."

"I never said I would defeat the-" Brennan began, but the rabbit cut her off.

"First, we must go to the Mad Hatter! He's been waiting anxiously for you for many months now! He will be the one who escorts you to the castle."

"I'll make sure everyone else is okay," said Camille, and she hurried away. Booth and Brennan came out from their hiding place with the rabbit not far behind.

"Please, we must hurry before the week is over!" he squeaked again.

"I'm sure we'll make it by then," Brennan assured him. Although, she had never been here before...but still, the chances of them finding a crazy guy in the woods and a castle in the same week were still pretty high.

"You never know with a creepy hyena thing stalking you," said Booth with a grin.

"It's called a 'Bandersnatch', Booth."

"Let's go!" said the rabbit, and he hopped ahead.

"Bones, this is gonna be the most Indiana Jones adventure you've ever been on. Army of random things stalking you, crazy people, fighting, it's all action."

"Who's Indiana Jones?"

Booth sighed. "Okay, Bones, let's just...go and beat up the stupid dragon and then leave, okay?"

* * *

I told you it sucked. But you can still make me feel better by saying it was good :)

Coming up: what us B/B shippers have been waiting to see for five freaking years. The 100th episode!! :D

Ha, I bet u thought it was gonna be about my fanfic. But there's gonna be some B/B romance in this, too!


	3. Meeting Sweets

Author's Note:

Sorry I haven't updated in exactly 3 months...just remembered about it lol (plus, this chapter is even worse than the last one). o well. i might update again today.

* * *

"WHO TOOK THEM?" screamed the woman. "WHO TOOK THE LOLLIPOPS?"

This woman's name was Heather Taffet of Crimes, the Red Queen. Her life is what you would expect from someone evil; she had the stupid, evil make-up and the straight face who never had any chances of falling in love because she resembled a bulldog. Although, she did fall in love with Sir Howard Epps, the Knave of Hearts...even if he was hella freaky and laughed his evil little chuckle at random times.

And today, everyone who worked at the Red Castle had to go to court; just because one of her enslaved servants took her lollipops.

She paced impatiently back and fourth as her five servants, who were covered in chains, finally trooped into her court. They stood in a line, standing like soldiers. The Red Queen watched their nervous faces and said loudly, "I know it was one of you who took them."

"Took what?" asked one.

"Why, my lollipops of course! Couldn't you hear me screaming, stupid?"

The man flinched. "I'm sorry, Your Highness."

"You should be, Mr. Nigel-Murray. But I do not believe that you are the one who stole them." She turned to Howard, who was standing beside her. "Epps, take him away!"

Epps nodded, taking Vincent Nigel-Murray away, probably back to his prison cell.

The Red Queen flicked her eyes toward her next servant, Arastoo Vaziri. "You couldn't have done it; I hear you're a Persian ninja."

Although the statement was false, Arastoo went along with it. "Yes, and Persian ninjas never do things like that."

The Red Queen shooed him away with her hand. "Dismissed!"

After Arastoo left, she dismissed Fisher, Wendell and Clark and glared at her least favorite, Daisy Wick.

"You are the one who stole my lollipops!" the Red Queen accused, pointing her finger in Daisy's face.

"I didn't! I swear on Lancelot's life!"

The Red Queen snorted. "Lancelot? As in Sir Lancelot of Cheshire?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"I take it that he's in good health."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"And that I kill him if you are not telling the truth!"

Daisy gasped. "No! Don't kill him!"

"So you are lying!"

"But-"

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!" the Red Queen screamed. Howard grabbed Daisy's arm and dragged her away, no matter how hard she tried to pull her arm away. The Queen sighed happily and retreated to her throne. She turned to the chef, Mr. Gordon Gordon Wyatt.

"Make sure Bayard is sent out to find Alice. I hear that she's returned to Wonderland."

Gordon frowned. "But...Your Majesty-"

"No protests! You know what that stupid girl was like the first time she came here."

"'Cause I'm halfway gone, and I'm on my way, and I'm feelin', feelin', feelin' this way..."

Booth had been moaning these words for the past ten minutes, out of pure boredom. And it was really starting to annoy Brennan.

"Booth, you could at least sing a different song," she said impatiently...even though it sounded like a beg more than anything. And in that situation, it probably was.

"It's not my fault that this is the most boring walk ever!" He looked at Rabbit, who was quite a few hops ahead of them. "How much longer is this gonna be?"

Before Rabbit could reply, a figure dressed in armor appeared before them. And he mostly resembled...

"Sweets!" called Booth with a grin.

"Sir Lancelot, thanks so much," corrected 'Sweets'. "I am a shape-shifter."

Brennan raised an eyebrow. "That's an interesting excuse for more attention." Booth almost burst out laughing, but instead, stuck out his hand in the form of a high-five.

It was obvious that Sweets was annoyed. "You don't believe me. Well, then, I'll show you." And in the blink of an eye, he had morphed into Booth.

Brennan's eyes widened. "That is irrationally and utterly-"

"Awesome?" 'Booth' finished for her, and he morphed back to his former self. There was finally a smile on his face. "Like I said, my name's Lancelot, but you guys can call me by that nickname...'Sweets'. I think I could get used to that." Booth and Brennan looked at each other and smiled. "So, what're your names?"

"I'm FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, and this is my partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan." He was about to take out his badge, and soon realized that he didn't have it; only his gun. He cleared his throat. "Sorry. Force of habit." Brennan smirked.

"Ms. Brennan is going to defeat the Jabberwocky on Frabjous Day!" squeaked the rabbit.

Sweets pointed at Brennan. "Her? Beat the Jabberwocky?" He burst out laughing.

Brennan frowned. "I believe that I am capable of defeating it."

Booth stared at her. "Bones, twenty minutes ago, you were complaining about this!"

Sweets raised an eyebrow. "You call her 'Bones'? That's...cryptic."

"Oh, and shape-shifting isn't?" snapped Booth.

"I work with human remains, since I am a forensic anthropologist," Brennan explained. "That's what my team does; we work with bones."

"And I catch bad guys," Booth added. "...Because we're partners...I arrest the guy who killed the victim."

"Please! We are wasting time!" snapped the rabbit, and Booth flinched. If Rabbit yelled at him even more than he already had, his ears would fall off.

"Are you escorting them to the Mad Hatter?" asked Sweets.

"Yes. Do you think you could take them to him for me? The Red Queen will be extremely angry if she finds out what I've been doing!"

"Sure, Rabbit. Follow me, you guys!" Sweets sprinted ahead.

Booth groaned. "Why does everyone run so fast?"

"Predators?" Brennan joked.

"Oh, that's hilarious, Bones," said Booth in a sarcastic tone, and they both hurried after Sweets.

* * *

plz review!


	4. The Mad Hatter

Author's Note:

I'm sorry I never update on this :(((( But, I'm back. Also, muchos los cientos (sorrys in spanish lol) b/c it's short. Plz enjoy and review! :D

Disclaimer: (I ALWAYS forget to do this lol!) Bones belongs to Hart Hanson and Fox and Alice in Wonderland belongs to Disney. :)

* * *

Booth was panting by the time he and Brennan had caught up with Sweets. He was standing with his hands behind his back and was now wearing a serious face. They stood in front of a long table with a broken-down brick house behind it. And at the end of the table sat a lone with a large top hat who resembled Hodgins.

"Hello, Jack," Sweets greeted.

"Hey," 'Hodgins' mumbled. He looked up at Brennan and gasped, "Dude...you're Alice!"

"Dr. Temperance Brennan of the Jeffersonian Institute," Brennan corrected. "This is my partner, Special Agent Seeley Booth."

"I'm Jack Hodgins, the Mad Hatter." He turned to Sweets and yelled, "Dude, this is the, what, fifth fake Alice that you brought to me? The paper says-"

"The paper says that a brave young woman would defeat the Jabberwocky; it never said 'Alice'. Besides, Rabbit was the one who told me to bring them to you," Sweets argued.

Hodgins sighed. "Sit down." The three of them took their seats. "So, how is this gonna work?"

"How is what gonna work?" asked Booth.

"How're we gonna get into the Red Castle, kill the Bandersnatch, and get the Vorpal Sword?"

"I thought we were just here to get to the castle and defeat the Jabberwocky," said Brennan quietly.

Hodgins smirked. "You've been with the White Rabbit this entire time, huh? Yeah, well, he doesn't like explanations; he's stressed out about being on time and that the Red Queen will want his head." He turned to Brennan. "She wants your head, too."

Brennan's eyes widened. "_My_ head?"

"What does she want with her head?" Booth asked.

"Well, the Queen somehow found out that you came to Wonderland and knows that you are the one who is determined to kill the Jabberwocky."

Suddenly, there was a rumbling noise, and the table quivered.

"I think it's an earthquake," said Booth.

"That's not an earthquake," said Sweets. "It's the Knave and the Red Army!"

"Here, drink this," said Hodgins quickly giving Brennan a glass of shrinking potion. She reluctantly drank it, despite how bad the taste was, and shrank until she was about as big as a human finger. Hodgins quickly picked her up and stuffed her into an empty teapot.

Booth snorted. "Were you trying to kill her?"

"Shh," Hodgins whispered as the Knave of Hearts on his horse galloped closer. He put the teapot on his lap, a fake smile plastered on his face.

From inside the teapot, Brennan could see through the spout that a bloodhound was snooping underneath the table, straight for her. She backed away from the spout as the bloodhound sniffed the teapot, a quiet growl rumbling from his throat.

"Please, don't, Bayard," Brennan heard Hodgins whisper. "I'll pay you back."

The dog let out a small 'ruff' in response and backed away, looking up at the Knave and shaking his head. And that's when Brennan realized that the Knave resembled one of her arch-enemies: Howard Epps. She looked at Booth, whose jaw had tensed and his hand was twitching slightly; he was probably fighting back the urge to take out his gun and shoot the guy.

"Hello, Mr. Hodgins," said the Knave in a dark tone. "Her Majesty has announced that Alice has returned to Wonderland."

"You don't say! Well, that's...uh-" Hodgins was cut off when the Knave lifted Hodgins up by the shirt collar, and the teapot tumbled onto the grass. Booth immediately (yet gently) picked up the teapot as Sweets threatened the Knave with his sword. The Knave glared at Sweets before letting Hodgins go.

"I know you know where Alice is," he growled. "And if you don't tell me where she is..."

"I don't know where she is!" Hodgins snapped. "Go ask someone else!"

The Knave's nostrils flared, and he jumped back on his horse. "You'll regret this, Hodgins." And with that, the Knave galloped away with Bayard and the Red Army behind him.

As soon as they were out of sight, Booth practically threw the lid off of the teapot and looked inside. "Bones, are you-" He cut himself off when he realized that she wasn't in there anymore. "Bones!" he called out desperately. "Bones, where are you?"

"Booth, I'm over here!" Brennan called back. Booth looked down into the grass to where she was, standing right next to the leg of his chair. He let out a huge sigh of relief and gently placed her back on the table next to the teapot.

"Something tells me we need to leave ASAP," said Hodgins. "Lance, I'd like you to see where that freaky Knave dude is going and warn some people about him. Okay?"

"Sure thing, Hodgins," said Sweets, and he darted away.

"Let's go before the Knave and his army of creepers come back," said Hodgins urgently as he placed Brennan on the rim of his hat. They then hurried towards the direction of the Red Castle.

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plz review! :)))


	5. Author's Note

Author's Note-  
I KNOW I never update, and I'm SOOOO sorry! There have been quite a few people that I know that have passed away recently, so it's been an extremely tough time for my family. I hope you understand and I will try to update as soon as I can.  
-Alex. 


	6. Stargazers

Author's Note-

I'm BACK! If you read the previous 'chapter' (aka the author's note) you would have read that a few people that I know have recently passed away, and that is the reason for the 'hiatus'. Once again, I'm EXTREMELY sorry, and I'm sure you'd understand.

BTW: I had to rewrite this chapter four times (yeah, I counted!) and I'm actually kinda proud of it. I'm not a HUGE fan of the beginning, but, y'know, it's working for me.

If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go poke my baby bro because he won't stop singing 'Don't Stop Believing', which is my dad's least favorite song. I'm sure you can imagine how he's feeling right now lol. ANYWAY, enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or Alice in Wonderland!

BTW AGAIN: Piece of BB fluff. :)))))))

* * *

It was now getting dark out. They had been walking for about half an hour, and for Booth, it felt like they had just been going for weeks. He kept shooting jealous glances at Brennan, who got to relax on the rim of Hodgins' hat like she was in the Bahamas, even if the place that they were walking through looked like it had been burnt down seven times. "What happened to this place?" asked Booth.

"Burned down by the Red Army a couple years back," Hodgins answered without taking his eyes off of the path in front of him. "They call it Horunvendush Day. Everyone was trying to protect the White Queen, Queen Angela. The two of us managed to get away to her castle; the rest of them ended up dead. Majority of them were my family."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Hodgins sighed. "I miss them a lot. But, y'know, I've got Lance...Camille...a couple of my other friends are being held hostage in the Red Castle." Booth realized that they had finally left the gray forest to an open, green meadow with a river flowing infront of them.

"It's beautiful here," Brennan commented, and the sound of her voice almost made Booth jump.

Hodgins nodded slightly, as to not make her fall off. "Yeah. One of the only beautiful places in this dump. I gotta admit, the Red Queen's garden is pretty awesome looking."

There was a thundering noise, and Booth said quietly, "Please tell me that _that_ was an actual earthquake."

Hodgins groaned. "I knew they'd somehow find us." He took out a small bottle and handed it to Booth. "Drink it, quick."

"What is it?"

"It's something that'll make you shrink. It'll help you and Dr. Brennan across this river."

"If it ends up killing me, I'm coming back to haunt you." He drank it and coughed, "That's disgusting!"

"Shut up! They're coming!" Hodgins hissed as Booth began to shrink.

Hodgins picked him up, and Booth shouted, "What the hell did you do to me?"

"Dude, I told you it would make you shrink! Okay, listen. Just keep going where we were heading all the way to the castle. You'll probably see the Rabbit there; he'll tell you where the Vorpal Sword is." The Army came closer, and Hodgins placed Booth on the hat next to Brennan. "I'll see you later."

"What are you going to do, Hodgins?" Brennan asked, alarmed.

"I'm gonna throw you across. Bye!"

"There is no way in _hell_ that you're gonna chuck us-" Booth began, but Hodgins threw the hat like a Frisbee over the river, where it landed safely on the other bank. They both stood, and Booth mumbled dizzily, "That felt like I was going on that teapot ride in Disney World..."

"What teapot ride?" asked Brennan, sitting down and watching the world swirl everywhere.

"You just keep spinning around and around..." He finally collapsed beside her, and they both looked to the other side of the river, where Hodgins was getting 'arrested' by the Knave.

"We've got to help him!" Brennan said as she stood again, but Booth grabbed her hand.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Bones!" He brought her back down. "You'll either drown in the river or get caught by those psychos. Let's just stay here."

"Shouldn't we be making our way to the castle?"

"Not tonight, Bones. We're gonna make this a camp-out."

"We can't sleep in the open, Booth," Brennan told him. "We could get stepped on."

"We're too big to be stepped on." He looked and the hat and said, "We can sleep under this!" He lifted it up by the rim, and Brennan peered inside. And she had to admit, it looked pretty cozy. And it smelled like pie, which would obviously make it more appealing to Booth.

"What about the hole in the top?"

"It'll give us some fresh air, and we can name constellations. I know you like that stuff, Bones. You're the one who told me that Venus is the second brightest object in the sky!"

Brennan nodded and smiled, remembering the moment very clearly in her head. "I suppose we could sleep under it."

"Good, because I'm way too tired to walk anymore." They both crawled underneath the hat and laid down on their backs, gazing up at the sky to see it become a dark indigo, and the stars began blinking into view.

"It's interesting how the sky and the stars do that here," said Brennan.

"Hey, it's Wonderland, Bones. Full of wonders." There was a moment of silence before Booth said, "I feel like I'm in _The Lion King_ right now."

Brennan stared at him. "What?"

"The Disney movie, Bones! I used to watch it all the time with Parker. They were all looking at the stars and talking about 'The Great Kings of the Past' and stuff like that." He smiled and said, "Parker's favorite part was the end, where Simba's standing on the edge of the giant rock, and he's just roaring because he's the new king. Parker was roaring and leaping all over the place."

"What was your favorite part?"

"I liked the part where he talks to his dad again. He was all sad because he thought that everything was all of his fault." It took Booth a moment to realize the deja vu. "...Just like me."

"It wasn't your fault, Booth," Brennan told him softly. "Hank was angry at your father once he saw that he was abusing you. He yelled at him to leave, and he never saw him again.

Booth swallowed. "He told you that?"

She nodded. "Yes. He was upset when he told me; it sounded like he wanted to cry. He would do anything for you."

"And I'd do anything for him," Booth said with a small smile, and he turned to Brennan. "Same goes for you; you're just not as special."

Brennan shot him a glare.

"I was kidding! It was a joke!" he laughed. Brennan's lips broke into a smile, and she poked him in the shoulder. "Ow!"

"Serves you right," she yawned, and rolled to her side, realizing how cold the grass was. "Are you cold, Booth?"

"I'm fine, but that's only because I've got my suit on. Why, are you?"

"Yes," she admitted as a shiver was sent down her spine, giving her goosebumps.

"C'mere, Bones." She gladly accepted the warmth that his arms were giving her and snuggled closer into his chest.

They slept soundly for the rest of the night.

* * *

Please review! I know it's kinda short, but oh well. :)


	7. The Arrival& the Capture

Author's Note:

Plz review. I've gotten one since I returned (and thank u for that one! :D). PLZ! I WILL TAKE UR SUGGESTIONS! I WILL MAKE BOOTH AND BRENNAN MAKE OUT...but it won't be in this chapter :((( JUST PLZ...review. :)

Oh, and btw, I don't own Bones or Alice in Wonderland.

* * *

Booth awoke to the sound of...sniffing? He slowly let Brennan go and crept to the edge of the hat, lifting it slightly to see a huge dog sticking his nose underneath the rim. Booth poked the nose, and the dog yipped and backed away, rubbing his nose with his paw. Booth looked back at his partner, who was now sitting up, confused at what was happening. They both jumped when the hat was suddenly lifted up and thrown by the dog's jaw.

"You! You're Bayard!" Brennan hissed, hitting the bloodhound on the nose. "You promised Hodgins that you wouldn't tell the Knave where we were!"

"Please don't hit my nose again," he begged in his deep voice as Brennan was about to hit him. "Now, please listen to me. I was promised by the Knave that if I found Alice, then my mate and pups will be released. I obviously didn't find her in time, and I was kicked out of the Red Castle."

"What does that have to do with us?" asked Booth.

"The Mad Hatter was captured and taken to the Red Castle, along with my family. If you can help them escape, I'll pay you back."

"We're heading to the Red Castle, anyway," spoke up Brennan. "If you could lead us there, we could save Hodgins and your family."

"I could give you a ride," Bayard offered, lying on his stomach so Booth and Brennan could climb on. They looked at each other before climbing onto Bayard's back, and the dog picked up Hodgins' hat and they were on their way to the Red Castle.

It didn't seem like long when they arrived at the Red Castle. The castle was mostly red, with hints of black and white. Booth and Brennan climbed down from Bayard. "I'm going to have to leave you," the dog huffed. "I need to tell Queen Angela of your arrival. I will see you soon." And before any questions could be asked, Bayard sprinted away.

"Where do we go?" asked Booth.

"How do expect me to know?" Brennan retorted, walking up a small hill and crawling underneath a hedge.

"Well, she knows," he muttered, crawling after her to a small garden with rose bushes and hedges shaped like hearts and cards. "Whoa...Hodgins was right! This is cool!"

"It looks good because the grass is bright green and fake," Brennan stated quietly. They both listened and heard a woman's voice spitting out orders.

"You! Get me my tea! And you! Why are you standing there? Get my crown!" There were a few minutes of silence before a white golf ball with red hearts rolled from underneath the hedge. "Rabbit! Go get it!"

"Yes, Your Majesty!" Rabbit scurried underneath the hedge and spotted Booth and Brennan. "Agent Booth! Dr. Brennan!" he said quietly. "I was very worried about you two when I realized that the Mad Hatter was arrested! You're both alright, I take it?"

Booth nodded. "Yeah, and I'm starving. You got anything to eat?"

Rabbit sighed. "Well, it's risky, but..." He took out a small cake that, to Booth and Brennan, looked enormous.

"What's so risky about that cake?"

"It makes you grow," Rabbit replied as Booth took a small piece off and began to eat it. Within seconds, Booth had grown to normal size. He watched as Brennan took off a chunk and grew two times larger than Booth. Rabbit swallowed. "Oh, dear..."

"Jesus Christ, Bones! You're _huge_!"

"You think I didn't notice?" Brennan snapped. "I didn't know that I ate too much..."

"Rabbit!" the woman yelled. "What is that?" Brennan looked to the woman, recognizing her as Heather Taffet, the Red Queen. She swallowed.

Rabbit crawled to the other side of the hedge. "That...she...is, um..."

"'Um'?" the queen repeated.

"Yes, I am Um," said Brennan. "From..."

"Umbridge!" Booth hissed.

"...Umbridge. I'm Um from Umbridge."

"What are you doing in my court?" the queen demanded.

"I...I'm always teased in Umbridge because of my irrational height, therefore, I came here, hoping that you would understand, since you have an irregularly sized head."

The Red Queen, surprisingly, nodded understandingly. "Yes, I do. Um, you are welcome in my court." She turned to a woman standing behind her. "Get the appropriate clothing for this gigantic girl!"

Brennan knelt down and whispered to Booth, "What are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna snoop around...see if I can free Hodgins and his imaginary friends that are captured here, too."

Brennan nodded. "Be careful."

"Bones, I've got my gun. I'll be fine." He gave her his charming grin before sneaking away.

"Um!" the queen called. "Follow us!"

Brennan sighed and stood, hurrying after the queen.

* * *

Brennan and the queen had been sitting in their thrones for the past hour. Brennan was forced to wear a burgundy dress with white stripes that made her feel like the mints that the waitress at the Royal Diner would give her and Booth once they got the check.

And there, in her mind, she brought up the topic of Booth, which had been concerning and bothering her since he had left her side.

What if he got caught?

What if he was injured?

What if he was-

"Your Majesty!" the Knave yelled. "We have a new prisoner!" Brennan swallowed and waited for the inevitable. The two large doors opened, and in walked Booth, dragging chains behind him. Brennan shifted uncomfortably in her seat as the Knave forced him to his knees. Booth groaned in pain and bowed, slowly looking up at Brennan. She felt like crying at his appearance; he had a black eye, and a long scar going from the corner of his other eye to his jaw. His eyes were screaming for help as they stared into hers. She looked away.

"I know...pathetic, isn't he?" the queen growled. "Knave, I am sentencing that this man will have his head chopped off tomorrow."

"But...wait-" Brennan began, but the queen cut her off.

"Dismissed!" The Knave nodded, pulling Booth up to his feet like a dog on a leash, and walked after the new prisoner.

"When will the execution take place?" Brennan asked quietly.

"Tomorrow in the morning," the queen replied with a smirk. "That's when their brains are nice and fresh-looking." Brennan swallowed, hiding a look of disgust. What kind of woman would take pleasure in seeing people getting their heads chopped off?

But, then again, this was the Gravedigger. Or her twin sister that lived underneath the ground.

But, whoever the hell she was, Brennan shook the thought out of her head. She had to find Booth and Hodgins...before it was too late.

* * *

After dinner (and receiving a shrinking potion from Rabbit), Brennan wandered around the castle, looking for the room that was imprisoning Booth and Hodgins. She opened a random door, which was revealed to be the kitchen. And there, washing the dishes, was none other than two of the interns from the Jeffersonian: Vincent Nigel-Murray and Wendell Bray.

"Dr. Brennan!" greeted Vincent with a smile. "What a pleasant surprise!"

"Please tell me you've come to rescue us," said Wendell desperately as he gave her a hug.

Brennan couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, now that I know you're here. Where is everyone else?"

"Arastoo, Fisher, and Clark are out trying to find the queen's lost jewels," Vincent replied. "Daisy is in her prison cell, waiting for the Knave to tell her when her execution date is."

"Booth and Hodgins are supposed to be getting executed tomorrow," Brennan informed them. "She probably will be, too. If we're lucky, we can all escape."

The two interns nodded. "So, what's the plan?" asked Wendell.

"I'm not sure at the moment," Brennan admitted. "If you just give me time to think..."

"Dr. Brennan, if I may interrupt," Vincent cut in. "In movies, it has been proven that thinking is a waste of time; you must act. I think that we'll find the prisoners if we make up something on the way there."

There was a moment of silence when Brennan finally nodded. "Do you have any ideas where they might be?"

"I heard the Knave talking about 'prisoners' and 'the West Tower'...that's probably where they're being kept."

"Let's go." The three of them slowly opened the door, peering around it to check if anyone was there. Wendell and Vincent quietly followed Brennan down hallways, around corners, and past rooms that no one would ever think possible, such as a room full of lollipops and a room that would definitely catch Hodgins' attention: the insect room.

They turned another corner when Brennan suddenly bumped into the last person she wanted to see: the Knave of Hearts.

"Hello, Um," the Knave greeted with a crooked smile. "What are you doing with the two servants?"

Brennan looked back at Wendell and Vincent. "I...I'm taking them to the..."

"She's taking us to the hat room," said Wendell, and Brennan silently thanked him. "The chef told us to check that all 923 of her hats are there."

The Knave eyed them suspiciously. "I see. Miss Um, do you know where the hat room is located?"

"Yes, the chef told us where to go," she said quickly. "I'll...see you later..." They all jogged past him, and he watched them turn another corner before heading to see the queen.

They had been walking for at least twenty minutes, and they were now walking up a tall spiral staircase.

"In movies, they would usually realize that once they got to the top of the staircase, and elevator would be waiting for them," said Vincent. Brennan sighed to see that Vincent was right; there was an elevator at the top of the stairs.

She turned to glare at him. "Why didn't you say something before?"

"He brings it up at a random time," Wendell cut in as Brennan tried to open the door.

"It's locked," she said with a sigh. "We'll have to find the key."

"What about that key?" asked Vincent, pointing to the gray key that was dangling around her neck. She thought for a moment before putting the key into the keyhole, successfully unlocking the door.

Brennan turned to her two interns and ordered quietly, "Try and find Hodgins and Daisy; I'm sure they'll know how to get out of here." She handed Wendell the key before they both hurried into the elevator. She slowly opened the door to see Booth staring boredly out the window. He turned to see his partner, and his eyes lit up.

"Bones! Thank God!" He immediately embraced her in a hug. "You don't know how bored I've been..."

"You weren't concerned about anyone else?" she said in surprise as she closed the door. "You were too consumed in your boredom?"

"I've been zoning out for the past three hours; I'm trying to forget how stressful this place is."

"You could've at least tried to escape; you could've tried the window..."

"Bones, do I look like the kind of person who's gonna change into a psycho maniac and jump out the window?"

"Well, no, but from my calculations, it wouldn't have killed you if you had jumped from it." They both sat down. "It could've saved you from an execution..."

Booth noticed that her eyes were clouded with tears. "Bones, you're talking to me like I'm dead. But I'm not! See? If you poke me, does your finger go through me?"

Brennan couldn't help but poke him on the shoulder. "No," she said with sniffle.

"Exactly. I'm 100% alive, and I'm not gonna get executed tomorrow."

* * *

ooo Booth's got a plan. I know what the plan is, too, b/c I'm psychic. review to find out. :)

Sorry this chappie turned out so...terribly. no, jk, that's an UNDERSTATEMENT! but u can review anyway. i love reviews.

**BTW: anyone reading this a Daisy-hater? if so, i'll kill her off in the next chapter :D but i need reviews, you see. PLZ, ITS EASY TO REVIEW! plz?**


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